I haven't actually picked up a pencil and drawn something in what seems like years. I have wanted to draw many times but there is no inspiration, no force to push me to draw. I tried to get friends to request items for me to draw and I got 2 responses which where unfortunately failures in my eyes. I completed one and was unable to even start the other. I have finally figured something out though and that is I can only draw animals or animal like creatures. So I now know the limits of my talents but this still doesn't solve anything. I still have no motive to draw. Its mostly a lack of interest and will to draw. Part of me that is cast in shadows is trying to be heard and wants me to draw again. There have been small inspirations that have made em want to draw but once I finally get the paper and pencil in and the inspiration disappears. Its almost as if my subconscious mind is afraid to draw anymore. The last absolutely piece of work I have done was my Haku Pen and Ink. When I created that piece of art I felt inspiration flowing through me and I watched as my only master piece was formed. After that everything I did, everything I produced from that day on seemed beneath my talent. Everything I draw I am dissapointed in some form of how it turned out. They say writers will get writers block and eventually sometimes they get out of it. Well I've been in artists block for around 3 years now and I honestly don't know if I will ever draw something magnificent again.

People say my art is good and looks fine but part of me just knows I can do better and then some other part of me calls myself a failure and thinks I shouldn't even bother trying anymore. Its a massive whirlpool of conflict and I honestly don't have any ideas of how to get out. "Try to draw and improve", who knows I could get better but inside the voices mock and taunt me. "Ignore the voices and just practice its what I do", yes all fine and dandy but words fall on deaf ears when the actions do not even start to emerge. For me I think I need a good strong push (or you could throw me, whatever works for you) something to make me draw. Requests so I don't sit here trying to figure out what I should draw but an image I can find and reproduce. I do think animals are all I can muster humans are beyond me and quite frankly I never liked to draw humans. If anyone thinks they could give me that push let me know. I only pray things at school stay calm so that if someone is able to help I can take their aid and start to draw again.